SummerWorks Festival (Lower Ossington Studio). Monday, August 12, 2013.
[Author's note: At this evening's performance of Enough Rope, my notepad was torn from my hands mid-performance. As I exited, a shadowy figure drew me aside, hissed the words "brechtian vaudeville!" in my ear and handed me a sheet with these pre-printed questions and answers, indicating, through a series of gestures, that this was to be used in place of any other review material. For proper effect, please set your browser to "Tintype", "Poor Richard" or a similar 'old-timey' font.]
FREQUENTLY PRESENTED MUSINGS AND QUERIES REGARDING AN ENTERTAINMENT ENTITLED ENOUGH ROPE
Q: This looks like a comfortable seat from which to watch this performance! Can I sit here?
A: No, it is reserved.
Q: Will watching Enough Rope lead to sneezing and watery eyes?
A: Studies indicate that this is a safe experience for
all most many of our patrons.
Q: I just time-teleported from the Old West, or possibly a post-apocalyptic re-imagining of the Old West. Is Enough Rope appropriate entertainment for me?
A: Greetings! Welcome to the twenty-first century. You shall henceforth and for the rest of your days feel displaced and uncomfortable and as if society were trying to implicate you in a) a scam or b) an emotional connection. Viewing Enough Rope will aid in your transition.
Q: Should I make eye contact with the cast?
Although making eye contact with cast members may cause feelings of guilt, anxiety and existential despair, it is an essential part of the Enough Rope experience. No harm could arise from making eye contact with our friendly performers! Please do!
Q: Is it true that some of the deepest truths lie somewhere beyond language?
A: [insert animated GIF of a masturbating monkey here]
Q: Is the artist's struggle really a metaphor for the emotional and physical suffering we feel every day?
A: BING! BING! BING! BING! BING! BING! BING! BING!
Q: I'm not sure what that means...
A: That's a common reaction that arises from the fact that skrch skritch chirk skrtch skrtch skrtch skrtch skrtch....
Q: Dear Lord! Are you turning into an insect?
A: No! It's nothing! Please look away. Look away... look... LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME IN ALL MY FOUL BEAUTY! Behold the tainted glory that is man! Ecce homo, ergo bug!
[Enough Rope plays again Tuesday August 13, 2:30 pm; Wednesday August 14, 7:30 pm; Friday August 16, 7:30 pm; Saturday August 17, 10:00 pm]